Psychologists have found ways to predict if a couple will go the distance. Learn from their research.
心理学家发现了预测情侣是否应该结束爱情长跑,进入婚姻殿堂的几种方法。一起来学习一下。
You Will Need
你需要
An honest evaluation of your relationship
对你们的恋情进行真诚的评估
Steps
步骤
Step 1 Take notice of how you treat each other. Happily married couples say five nice things to and about each other for every one negative exchange.
1.关注一下你们怎样互相对待。婚姻幸福的夫妇互相能够说出对方五个比较好的地方,一个比较不好的地方。
Researchers have found that if a woman rolls her eyes when her fiance is talking, it's a huge red flag.
研究人员表示,如果未婚夫说话的时候女性眼睛到处转,说明他们的恋情亮起了红灯。
Step 2 Rate your sense of humor. If you find the same things funny and laugh a lot, that can keep you laughing into old age together.
2.评估幽默感。如果你们发现同样的事情让你们感到有趣和大笑,年老时你们仍然可以一起笑。
Step 3 Check if you and your betrothed present a united front. If one of you says "I" more than "we" it could signal a lack of readiness to give up single life.
3.看一下你和你的另一半是否达成统一战线。如果其中一方经常说“我”,而不是“我们”,这说明你们还没有做好结束单身生活的准备。
The chance of a couple ending up in divorce court is greater if the man scores low in the "we" test.
如果男方在“我们”测试中得分较低,这对夫妇离婚的可能性更大。
Step 4 Consider your "how we met" story. Are your respective answers short or long? Romantic or ho-hum? Told with affection or not? Couples who are expansive when recounting their stories have a better chance of living happily ever after.
4.讲述两人如何遇到的故事。你们各自的答案长还是短?浪漫还是无味?讲述的时候是否充满感情?讲述他们结识的故事时笑逐颜开眉飞色舞的夫妇通常都过得比较幸福。
Step 5 Critique your fights. If either of you has a tendency to escalate conflicts, that's a bad sign. If the male partner responds to conflict by withdrawing from the argument, that's even worse.
5.评论你们的争吵。如果任何一方想要把冲突升级,这是糟糕的信号。如果男方想从争吵中退出,情况更加糟糕。
Fighting itself is not linked to divorce; the key is to handle disagreements calmly and respectfully most of the time.
争吵本身和离婚无关;关键是平静而互相尊重地解决争端。
Step 6 Consider other factors that increase the risk of divorce, like getting married under the age of 25, lacking higher education, earning a low income, having different religions, and coming from a broken home. The fewer of those categories you fall into, the better your chance of marital harmony.
6.考虑可能导致离婚的其他因素,例如不足25岁就结婚,学历不高,收入较低,宗教信仰不同,来自单亲家庭等等。以上这些不利因素越少,婚姻和谐的可能性越高。
Step 7 Know that you have the power to determine your future. Now that you've learned the behaviors and attitudes that can lead to divorce, you don't necessarily need to call the whole thing off; take steps to adjust them.
7.知道你们有决定自己未来的能力。现在,你已经了解到可能会导致离婚的行为和态度,你不需要一次完全改变,逐步去调整就可以了。
In a 1946 poll, people said the ideal marrying age for a woman was 21; a 2006 survey pegged the ideal age at 25.
在1946年的民意测验中,人们表示,女性理想的结婚年龄是21岁;2006年的调查则把理想年龄修正为25岁。