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淡化雅思文章模板痕迹之单边结构写作

 昵称17512662 2014-05-24
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一、前言

雅思作文中,基本上主流的作文结构有:单边结构,双边结构和分析解决。如果进一步细分,还可以分为自由论述类,混合类和对比型。考生在考试前最重要的是要学会确定考题的作文结构,这是审题的一个重要前提。众所周知,单边结构主要有两个方面的特征:考题文字中的观点单一和考生对观点支持角度的单一,即不能模棱两可,必须有明确的单一指向性的观点倾向。

对于判断作文的结构类型,应该不是很大的问题,现在我们关心的是,考生太过依赖所谓的模板,而使得文章没有灵活度,太过于模式化。同学们都知道,在考试中,如果我们的文章太过模式化,也就是有背模板的嫌疑,这样的文章在考官眼中是低质量的作文。朗阁海外考试研究中心分析认为,此现象的主要原因应该归咎于考生存在希望通过所谓“万能模板”去获得高分的心态,期望通过所谓捷径来快速取得理想的分数。可是这样做往往会适得其反。

本文将主要通过分析单边结构类型作文中比较常见的话题,为考生分析如何淡化写作中的模板痕迹,使文章更为行云流水,不要让文章成为冷冰冰的一堆钢筋水泥般无生机的机械文字。

二、分析

真题链接:In some countries, government encourages industries and business to move from large cities to regional areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this policy?

以上是作文题库中的考试真题,相信大家都已经非常熟悉了。我们就一起结合此题,对单边结构的整体文章结构和遣词造句做一个简单的对比。

1. 引言段

引言段是通篇作文的开篇之作,对于它的写法多种多样。但是无论怎样书写,切忌出现以下模式性的语句样式:

模板语言:

Nowadays, the relocation of industries and business has become a public focus on which people retain different views. Personally, I am favor of the opinion that we should move the industries and business to regional areas. The reasons can be listed in the following three aspects.

这样的模板相信大部分考生都不会觉得陌生,它曾经“造福”了无数考生。但是这样过于机械的语言,很难体现出考生对考题文字的理解,更为糟糕的是,你的开头有可能和无数人是重复的!

下面我们就做一个简单的对比:

非模板语言:

In traditional city planning, the industrial and commercial areas are placed in large cities.(调用背景知识,引出话题)However, recently, in some countries; government start to encourage those functional areas to move out of cities.(同义转换考题文字)The alternation of location for those sections can be viewed as an action to ensure the sustainable development of a country.(自然流露观点倾向)

2. 主体段

模板语言:

In the first place, ____________________________.

In the second place, _________________________.

Last but not the least, _________________________.

在传统的模板里,单边结构的主体段只是简单的分段论证分论点,虽然结构一目了然,但是也难免落入模式化的俗套。

做一个简单的对比:

非模板语言:

a. 让步分析

Admittedly, when industry and commercial regions are established in large cities, the profits of enterprises could be maximized. Due to the sufficient human resource, advanced technology and complete infrastructure, urban areas are always regarded as a dream land for economic development. Apart from the positive effects the location exerts on the development of companies, the contribution of taxes to the government is another reason why those industries are originally built in cities.

单边结构并不总是一条道走到黑,可以先让步分析题目中的背景信息,这样可以为观点的论证提供很好的铺垫,当提出观点的时候就不会很突兀,会显得更加“底气十足”。

b. 转折过渡

However, nothing is without its costs. The flourishment of economy also brings a more crowded environment, soaring crime rate and the heavy burden of resources in cities, which arouses a dramatic conflict between different fields. What’s more, it leads to the unbalanced regional development. And the gap between cities and rural areas is continuously sharpened.

但是单边结构毕竟是要明确地提出一个中心论点,才不会偏离文章的主旨,所以在这篇文章中,这个时候转折就显得相当重要。

c. 提出观点

Obviously, promoting the relocation of business and industries is a wise decision to ease the pressure of cities as well as facilitate the economic development in regional areas. The city will naturally be freed from the overcrowdedness and serious pollution. More importantly, those regional areas which are chosen as the new places for industries and commercial activities could gain an advantageous position in the rapid growth of local economy. People there may not pour into cities to pursue their goals, which could lead to the deterioration of both urban and rural environment.

有了前面的铺垫,这时候的观点提出就非常顺畅了,不需要费尽口舌说服读者来“买你的帐”。笔者认为,只有铺垫充足,观点的提出才更像是一种必然。

3. 结尾段

模板语言:

To sum up, from the above analysis, we can come to the conclusion that_____________________________________________.

做一个简单的对比:

非模板语言:

In conclusion, the change of location for both industry and business is based on extensive consideration, apparently, this policy could make the all-direction and sustainable development of a country a possibility. (自然流露观点倾向)

三、总结

建议各位考生:不要盲目追求所谓模板,要注重灵活度。笔者认为,中国考生写作得分低,除了语法这个大问题以外,其实一味背诵模板甚至随处套用所谓“万能模板”是丢分的一大原因。写作的最高境界就是把各种连接化于无形,实现语义的自然衔接。考生必须根据考题的要求,调用自己原有的语言配上正确的语法,使作文具有鲜明的个人特色,侃侃而谈。在考场中,拉近与考官的距离而不是设置一道冷冰冰的“模板墙”。

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