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HOPE AND despair

 昵称20632619 2015-06-09

Hope and despair

Never hold too much hope! Especially you are not good at that. Maybe you have heard a lot proverb such as “hope is the base of life” or “where there is a will, there is a way”. But the truth is life often disappoint you when you are full of hope. There goes the point, hope not only encourage you to move on but also despair you.

It is commonly considered that once we hold hope or expectation we will definitely make it. Undoubtfully, hope can give us a motivation to inspire us to keep trying but not give up. And hope is new start that we can do everything from the very beginning.  When I was in my high school, I did terrible job during the math exam, which really disappointed me. Moreover, most of my classmates got a great score including those who were not good at it. Failing in exam like a shadow covered me so that I could not pay my attention to any other study. Fortunately, my math teacher- Miss Liu just gave me a sentence “you should believe yourself that you can do better next time, and the failure is a lesson”. At that time, I found there was still someone believed me. So I decided to be positive and focus on study. It turned out that Miss Liu was right, because I got the highest score in the next math exam. Hope can be a power when we feel helpless.

Every coin has two sides. There is a saying “ the more you expect, the more disappointed you will be.” It tells us hope not only encourage us but also despair us. When we were full of hope to believe we will definitely won that tug-of-war game, but we lost the game in the finals. The disappointment we got more than we did not hold the belief that we would win. We have to confirm that a lot of expectation will change hope into disappointment. According to the research, there is a theory called observer effect. It means the observer will influence the participant more or less. That is the reason why a student who finished college entrance examination killed himself before got the final score.  Our parent put a lot of expectation into us to hope we can achieve higher grades in our study, and they hope we have a successful life. So they keep warning us if we do not work hard we will fall behind others. But the truth is a good student will feel stressful and can not do well as they wanted. Once we did not do well, they would feel great disappointed.  However, it would not happen to a low level student. That is the hope despaired you.

Sometimes hope is beyond what we really can do. The hope is beautiful and positive but the fact is cruel. We should make plan at the root of our ability. We should not reach for impractical aim. For instance, it is really hard to regain hope after the doctor diagnosed you only have two weeks to live. We hoped to be a scientist or doctor in the future in the childhood, but we just do a job as a repair man or a waiter. There is a long distance between dream and reality.   

Many failed-experiences are more likely to draw us back but not to hold hope. As we all know, once bitten twice shy. After the failure of hope, we may fear for suffering the pain once again. Most of inspirational stories just show somebody who had confronted with misery but made it finally. What we did not notice is there more failure examples behind them. Even we are urge to have a good result, every nerve just tell us just forget it because of so many failures.

To sum up, it is obviously that we need hope to support us. However, hope also bring despair to us when we dream of those thing over what we can do. So when there is nothing you can do just let it be. May be it will be a great surprise if you treat it with common mind. Don’t you think so?

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