Television presents a vivid world in front of us. (1)(主题句)Through TV, we can learn what is happening half way across the world. (2)(扩展句)
Television also plays an important educational role in our daily life. (3)(主题句) For one thing, the TV university provides an opportunity for many young men who can not go to formal universities. (4)(扩展句) For another, children can broaden their scope of knowledge by watching such popular programs as 'The Animal World', and 'The Mickey Mouse and Duck Donald'. (5)(扩展句) Besides, women can learn about the latest fashion of dresses and the best recipe for making fruit cakes. (6)(扩展句) Furthermore, we learn many world advanced technologies from TV programs such as computer and telecommunication. (7)(扩展句) And also we can learn singing, dancing and doing physical exercises in some special TV training courses.(8)(扩展句) In short, the effect of TV's educational role is becoming more and more obvious. (9)(扩展句)
Having viewed these several aspects, and with many more TV programs being produced,I believe that our life will become even more significant. (10)(总结句)
【专家点评】
1.本文是一篇典型的十句作文,主题句“Television presents a vivid world in front of us”点明了文章的主题,其他句子均围绕它进行扩展。扩展句(句2—9)内容详实,结束句(句10)总结性和概括性很强。整篇文章层次清晰,充分体现了十句作文法的特点。
2.较好地使用了大量的连接词,如for one thing, for another, besides, furthermore, and also等,另外,in short的使用也使结论更加清晰,概括更加明了。
4.使用了较高级的词汇句型,不单调,像宾语从句(what is happening halfway across the world,our life will become more significant),定语从句(who can not go to formal university),分词短语(by watching…,for making fruit cakes, having viewed these aspects),重点短语(plays an important educational role, provide…for…),高级单词(present, broaden, scope)和with复合结构(with many more TV programs produced)等,这些都极大地提升了文章的档次。