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Tuesday Once, I was just pottering around the garden. Suddenly, I encountered a crowd of mothers, sitting together and sharing their parenting experience. One topic is how to discern their children’s lies. Hearing the theme, my heart sunk. 一次在小区公园里溜达，忽遇一群妈妈们相聚一起交流育儿经验，其中一个主题就是如何分辨孩子的谎言。听到这个话题，心情很是沉重。 Life is full of lies, some are white lies and some are malicious lies. Telling a lie is one of our human nature and no one can guarantee that he never tells a lie in his whole life. As a matter of fact, lying is an inevitable part of children’s growth stage. 生活中，到处充满谎言，有些是善意的谎言，有些却是恶意的。撒谎是人类的本性之一，没有一个人保证说一生没有撒过谎。其实，撒谎是孩子成长进步的必经阶段。
Actually, how to tell the kids’ lies is not important. And what’s important is seeing what behind all lies. Namely, the reason why the kids lie. Commonly, children take the burden of guilt and embarrassment deep in heart. The clever parents are able to handle and resolve it skillfully and appropriately. On the contrary, most parents just uncover the lies and overlook the problem itself. 其实，如何分辨孩子的谎言不重要，重要的是在于谎言背后，也就是孩子为何要撒谎。一般撒谎，孩子都要承担内心的内疚与羞愧。聪明的家长会妥善处理并巧妙化解，大多数家长只知道揭开孩子的谎言，而忽略问题的本身。 Problem 1 Children Fail to Live Up Parents’ Requirements Many parents set their own requirements for kids and neglect kids themselves on characteristic development. Especially, school children tend to tell a lie in assignments and scores. For example, children clumsily use red pen to alter falling grades. 问题一：孩子达不到家长的要求 很多家长对于孩子都是有自己的设定要求，忽略孩子的本身发展个性化问题。尤其是学龄孩子，倾向于在作业以及成绩问题上撒谎。例如孩子笨拙的用红笔涂改原本不及格的分数。 Problem 2 Parents Pay Too Little to Kids As a practical issue, people survive in great living pressure. Many parents have to be engaged in work and leave their kids to older generation. Consequently, parents have much too less time to accompany their children. Even, some kids have to pretend to be sick and make their parents stay at home with them. 问题二：家长对孩子关注太少 现实问题，现在社会生存压力大，很多家长不得不忙于工作，将孩子托付给家里长辈，导致家长陪伴孩子的时间越来越少。而有些孩子用装病来获取家长的关注，借此希望家长可以在家陪伴。 Problem 3 Inadequate Influence of Parenting As the first teachers for kids, parents play an important role in their lives. Sometimes, parents promise kids something for temporarily comforting them. Eventually, parents don’t keep their promise and let kids down. Hence, kids must be edified by what they see and learn lying skills. 问题三：父母榜样力量不足 父母作为孩子的第一老师，在孩子生活中占据非常重要的位置。有些时候家长为了暂时性的安抚孩子，而答应孩子。最后，父母不兑现承诺让孩子失望。所以，孩子在耳濡目染下就习得撒谎这项技能。 Problem 4 Kids’ Temporary Lack of Sense of Security Many parents believe that kids are too young to know something. Whereas, kids are very sensitive and intelligent. As my nephew was two years old, he was sent to kindergarten. His father and mother picked him up after class. But my nephew said there was mice in the kindergarten and he didn’t want to go to kindergarten any more. Actually, there was no mouse in kindergarten and he just felt lack of security as he got into a new surroundings. 问题四：孩子暂时性安全感缺失 很多家长觉得孩子太小，什么都不知道。其实，孩子特别敏感特别聪明。二岁的侄子被送去幼儿园，哥哥嫂子第一天接回来的时候说幼儿园里有老鼠以后不去幼儿园了。其实，并没有老鼠，只是孩子到了新的环境，安全感缺失而已。 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
As a result, parents should make kids’ starting points clear after lying. Do not treat them with a cookie-cut approach and scold them which would push away the kids farther and farther!!! 所以，请家长在看到孩子撒谎后要看清孩子的出发点，而不是一刀切并训斥孩子，将孩子推得越来越远！！！
Knowledge Points （知识点） discern 美 [d?'s?rn] 英 [d?'s??(r)n] v. 觉察出，识别，了解；（依稀）看出，分辨出，听出 to know, recognize or understand sth, especially sth that is not obvious; to see or hear sth, but not very clearly 例句： He almost could not discern the road in the dark. 他几乎不能在黑暗中辨认出路来。 malicious 美 [m?'l???s] 英 [m?'l???s] Adj.怀有恶意的；恶毒的 having or showing hatred and a desire to harm sb or hurt their feelings 例句： It is not a malicious hoax. 这不是心怀恶意的骗局。 inadequate 美 [?n'?d?kw?t] 英 [?n'?d?kw?t] adj. 不充分的，不足的，不够的；不胜任的，缺乏信心的 not enough, not good enough; not able, or not confident enough, to deal with a situation 例句： No one likes to be laughed at. It makes one feel inadequate and out of sorts. 没有人喜欢遭人嘲笑，这会让人觉得信心不足和离群。 |
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