英语笑话

• 关于彩虹的笑话英文翻译 明日希望的象征

  　　Once upon a time the colors of the world started to quarrel. All claimed that they were the best.

  　　Green said: Clearly I am the most important. I am the sign of life and of hope. I was chosen for grass, trees and leaves. Look over the countryside and you will see that I am in the majority.

  　　Blue interrupted: You only think about the earth, but consider the sky and the sea. It is the water that is the basis of life. The sky gives space and peace and serenity. Without my peace, you would all be nothing. ”

  　　Yellow chuckled: The sun is yellow, the moon is yellow, the stars are yellow. Every time you look at a sunflower, the whole world starts to smile. Without me there would be no fun.

  　　Orange started next: I carry the most important vitamins. Think of carrots, oranges and mangoes. When I fill the sky at sunrise or sunset, my beauty is so striking that no one gives another thought to any of you.

  　　Red could stand it no longer so he shouted out: I am the ruler of all of you. I am blood一 life's blood! I bring fire into the blood. I am the color of passion and love.

  　　Purple was very tall and spoke with great pomp: I am the color of royalty and power. Kings, chiefs and bishops have always chosen me for I am the sign of authority and wisdom. People do not question me! They listen and obey.

  　　Finally Indigo spoke, much more quietly than all the others, but with just as much determination: Think of me. I am the color of silence. I represent thought and reflection, twilight and deep water. You need me for balance and contrast, for prayer and inner peace.

  　　And so the colors went on quarreling, each convinced of his or her own superiority. Suddenly there was a startling flash of bright lightening, and thunder rolled. Rain started to pour down.

  　　Rain began to speak: You foolish colors. Don't you know that you were each made for a special purpose? Join hands with one another and come to me.

  　　Doing as they were told, the colors joined hands and united.

  　　Rain continued: From now on, when it rains, each of you will stretch across the sky in a great bow of color as a reminder that you can all live in peace. The rainbow is a sign of hope for tomorrow.

  　　有一天，世界上的五颜六色彼此争吵了起来，每一个颜色都声称自己是最好的。

  　　绿色说：“很明显嘛！我就是最重要的。我是生命和希望的象征。青草、大树和叶子都选择我，只要往乡野望去，我就是主色。”

  　　蓝色打断他的话说：“你只想到地面，想想天空和海洋吧！水是生命之源，而天空包容大地、宁静和祥和。一旦失去我的宁静祥和，你们就什么也不是了。”

  　　黄色暗自好笑：“太阳是黄色的，月亮是黄色的，星星也是黄色的。每当你看着向日葵，整个世界也跟着笑逐言开起来。没有了我，也就没有了乐趣。”

  　　橙色接着说：“我是最重要的维他命，想想胡萝卜、橘子和芒果。每当日出日落时，我就满布在天空，我的美丽如此令人惊艳，根本不会有人想到你们。”

  　　红色再也按捺不住，他大声的说：“我是你们的主宰，我是血！生命之血！我将热情注入血液，我是热情和爱情的颜色。”

  　　紫色自视甚高，而且盛气凌人的说：“我是皇室和权威的颜色，国王、领袖和大主教都选择我，因为我是权威和智慧的象征。人们不敢对我有所存疑，只有乖乖听命的份。”

  　　靛色终于说话了，比起其它颜色，他的声音平和多了，但是，也是同样的斩钉截铁：“我是宁静之声，我代表思想、深思熟虑、曙光以及深水。你们需要我来平衡对比、祈祷并获得内在的平静。”

  　　五言六色就这样一直吵下去，每个颜色都认为自己最优秀。突然间闪电雷鸣大作，大雨倾盆而下。

  　　雨开口说话：“你们这些蠢颜色，你们不晓得自己各有所司吗？大家手牵手一起过来。”

  　　那些颜色都乖乖的手牵手，站在一起。

  　　雨接着说：“从今以后，只要一下雨，你们每个都得伸展成大弓形横跨在天际，藉以提醒大家和平共处。因为彩虹是明日希望的象征。”

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• 有关拿破仑的英文笑话

  　　Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year.

  　　"He's a good boy," said Jack's father, "and if you let him pass this time, I'm sure he'll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well."

  　　"No, no, that's quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn't know!"

  　　"Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack's father. "You see, I'm afraid we don't take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."

  　　杰克到一所大学去学历史。第一学期结束时，历史课教授没让他及格。学校让他退学。然而，杰克的父亲决定去见教授，强烈要求让杰克继续来年的学业。

  　　“他是个好孩子，”杰克的父亲说：“您要是让他这次及格，我相信他明年会有很大进步，学期结束时，他一定会考好的。”

  　　“不，不，那不可能，”教授马上回答。“你知道吗？上个月我问他拿破仑什么时候死的，他都不知道。”

  　　“先生，请再给他一次机会吧。”杰克的父亲说：“你不知道，恐怕是因为我们家没有订报纸。我们家的人连拿破仑病了都不知道。”

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• 笑话 英美 英语笑话

  　　1. Good Question

  　　The librarian went over to the small, noise boy. "Please be quiet!" she admonished. "The people near you can't read!" "They can't?" the lad said inquisitively. "Then what are they doing here?"

  　　2. An Energetic Wife

  　　Neighbour: I heard a big noise in front of your house last night. What happened to you?

  　　Husband: It was nothing. My wife was a bit cross, and threw my overcoat out of the window.

  　　Neighbour: Your overcoat? But how could it make such a noise?

  　　Husband: I... I happened to be inside the coat.

  　　3. A Satisfactory Substitute

  　　A neighbour boy knocked at the door. "Can Timmy come out and play with me?" he asked. "I'm sorry, but Timmy is taking his nap," Timmy's mother replied. "Then can Timmy's new bike come out and play?" he inquired hopefully.

  　　4. More Experienced

  　　"Your Honor," the accused hit-and-run driver's lawyer pleaded, "that man who was injured must have been careless. My client is an experienced driver of more than 20 years." "If experience is the issue here," the other attorney countered, "my client has been walking for over fifty years."

  　　5. Not Difficult

  　　The duck hunters had been waiting hours for some ducks to show up. Finally a lone duck flew by and everybody missed except one hunter who had been belting down a bottle of whiskey. His pals asked him how on earth he had hit the thing. "That's easy," he replied, "you ought to be able to hit something when a flock that big goes by."

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• 英文翻译的笑话 谁更有礼貌Who's More Polite

  　　Who's More Polite?

  　　A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down.

  　　谁更有礼貌?

  　　一个胖子和一个瘦子在争论谁更有礼貌。瘦子说他更有礼貌，因为他经常对女士摘帽示意。但是胖子认为他更有风度，因为无论什么时候他在车上给别人让座时，总有两位女士能坐下。

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• 英文短篇笑话故事大全 下雨The Rain

  　　The Rain

  　　A small boy and his father were having a walk in the country when it suddenly began to rain very hard. They did not have their umbrella with them， and there was nowhere to hide from the rain， so they were soon very wet， and the small boy did not feel very happy.

  　　For a long time while they were walking home through the rain， the boy was thinking. Then at last he turned to his father and said to him，“Why does it rain， Father? It isn't very nice， is it?”

  　　“No， it isn't very nice， but it's very useful，Tom，”answered his father.“It rains to make the fruit and the vegetables grow for us， and to make the grass grow for the cows and sheep.”

  　　Tom thought about this for a few seconds， and then he said，“Then，why does it rain on the road too， Father?”

  　　下雨

  　　一个小男孩和他的父亲正在乡间行走，突然下起了大雨。

  　　他们没带伞，加上四下无处可以躲雨，所以很快他们浑身上下被淋湿了，小男孩感到很不好受。

  　　他们在雨中朝家走去，有好一会儿，那个男孩一直在思索着什么。后来终于他朝父亲转过脸去，问他说:“爸爸，为什么天会下雨呢?下雨可不太好，是吧?”

  　　“是呀，下雨是不太好，可是下雨也有很多有益的地方，汤姆。”父亲回答说。“老天爷下雨促使了为我们所食用的水果和蔬菜的生长，同样也促使牛羊所吃的青草的生长。”

  　　汤姆对父亲的这番话想了一会，然后说:“那么，父亲，老天爷为什么还要把雨下在路上呢?”

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• 有意义的英文笑话

  　　One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"

  　　一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地 上，手中抱着一头猪，并把它举得高高的，好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。城里人对农夫说，"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的，但是，这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫 回答说，"时间对猪有什么意义?"

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• 小笑话 英文 一个少女的喜好A young girl's likes

  　　A young girl was asked by her mother, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" The girl replied, "I want to be an old maid."

  　　Her mother was surprised to hear that, and said, "Oh,dear, why?" The girl said, "I don't think I would like to kiss a man so many times and to tell him he handsome every time. I will get bored. I like to go shopping, so I'd rather earn money to buy things for myself."

  　　一个少女的母亲问她：“你长大后想干什么呀?”少女说：“我想做个老姑娘。”

  　　她的母亲听到这话感到非常惊讶。她说：“啊，亲爱的，这是为什么呀?”少女说：“我觉得我不会老是要去亲一个男人，而且每次还要说他很帅。我会感到厌倦的。我喜欢逛商店，所以我宁愿去赚钱给自己买东西。”

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• 英文小白兔笑话 买面包

  　　One day a little white rabbit went to a bakery and asked, "Have you got 100 buns?"

  　　一天有只小白兔来到面包店问：“请问你们有100个小面包吗?”

  　　The shopkeeper answered, "Sorry, we don't have that many."

  　　老板回答：“抱歉我们没有那么多。”

  　　"Oh, that's a pity!" said the rabbit and left, disappointed.

  　　“哦，太遗憾了。”小白兔失望地离开了。

  　　The second day the little white rabbit went to the bakery again and asked, "Have you got 100 buns?"

  　　第二天小白兔又来到那个面包店问：“请问你们有100个小面包吗?”

  　　The shopkeeper again answered, "Sorry, we don't have that many."

  　　老板仍回答：“抱歉我们没有那么多。”

  　　"Oh, it's a pity," said the rabbit, and again left, disappointed.

  　　“哦，太遗憾了。”小白兔又失望地离开了。

  　　The third day the little white rabbit went again to the bakery and asked, "Have you got 100 buns?"

  　　第三天小白兔依然来到那家面包店，问：“请问你们有100个小面包吗?”

  　　"Oh, yes we have 100 buns today!" the shopkeeper answered gladly.

  　　“啊是的，今天我们有100个小面包啦!”老板高兴地回答。

  　　"That's great, I'll buy two, thank you!"

  　　“那太好啦!我买2个，谢谢!”

  　　The shopkeeper stood silently.

  　　老板无语了……

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• 英文对话翻译的笑话 完美儿子The Perfect Son

  　　The Perfect Son.

  　　A: I have the perfect son.

  　　B: Does he smoke?

  　　A: No, he doesn't.

  　　B: Does he drink whiskey?

  　　A: No, he doesn't.

  　　B: Does he ever come home late?

  　　A: No, he doesn't.

  　　B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?

  　　A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

  　　完美儿子

  　　A:我有一个很完美的儿子.

  　　B:他抽烟吗?

  　　A:不抽.

  　　B:他喝威士忌酒吗?

  　　A:不喝.

  　　B:他会不会很晚回家?

  　　A:不会.

  　　B:我想你确实有一个完美儿子. 那他多大了?

  　　A:下个星期三就满6个月了.

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• 英文黄笑话大全 爆笑 三字经不可以翻为英文

  　　三字经不可以翻为英文！！！(爆笑！！！)

  　　人之初：At the beginning of life.

  　　(英翻中:生命的起初)

  　　性本善：Sex is good.

  　　(白话文:性是美好的)

  　　性相近：Basically, all the sex are same.

  　　(英翻中:基本上,所有的性行为是差不多滴)

  　　习相远：But it depends on how the way you do it.

  　　(英翻中:但还是得依照个人的喜好而为之)

  　　苟不教：If you do not practice all the time.

  　　(英翻中:若你不随时勤练精进)

  　　性乃迁：Sex will leave you.

  　　(英翻中:性将远离你的生活)

  　　教之道：The way of learning it..

  　　(英翻中:学习性的指导原则)

  　　贵以专：is very important to make love with only one person..

  　　(英翻中:最最重要的法则是做性这档事只能对一个人)

  　　昔孟母：Once a great mother, Mrs. Meng.

  　　(英翻中:曾经有一个伟大的教母:孟母)

  　　择邻处：chose her neighbor to avoid bad sex influence.

  　　(英翻中:为孩子选最佳性行为示范的邻居为邻,避免坏的性示范而影响小朋友的身心健康)

  　　子不学：If you don t study hard,.

  　　(英翻中:再次叮咛,你若再不刻苦勤学....)

  　　断机杼：Your Dick will bee useless.

  　　(英翻中:你的鸡鸡就从此报废掉)

  　　窦燕山 ：Dou, the Famous.

  　　(英翻中:窦先生,名人)

  　　有义方 ：owned a very effective exciting medicine.

  　　(英翻中:他有一帖非常赞的药方)

  　　教五子 ：All his five son took it.

  　　(白话文:生出来的五个男孩全靠这一帖)

  　　名俱扬 ：and their sexual ability were well-known..

  　　(英翻中:而他五个小孩的性能力,北港有名声,下港有出名)

  　　养不教 ：If your children don t know how to do it,.

  　　(英翻中:你的小孩若不知道如何做好性行为....)

  　　父之过 ：It is all your fault..

  　　(英翻中:这所有最过都是你造成的)

  　　教不严 ：If they had lots of problems with it,.

  　　(英翻中:如果你的小孩做这档是有问题....)

  　　师之惰 ：their teachr must be too lazy to tell them details on sex..

  　　(英翻中:那他的老师一定敎很懒散,没有敎的很彻底)

  　　子不学 ：You may refuse to study this.

  　　(英翻中:你或许会抗拒学习它....)

  　　非所宜 ：but that is a real mistake.

  　　(英翻中:你就犯下真正的错误)

  　　幼不学 ：If you don t learn it in childhood,.

  　　(英翻中:如果不从小学习它....)

  　　老何为 ：you will lose your ability when aged.

  　　(英翻中:若上了年纪你会丧失所有的性能力)

  　　玉不琢 ：If you don t exercise your dick,.

  　　(英翻中:若没有持续操你的小弟弟)

  　　不成器 ：It won t bee hard and strong..

  　　(英翻中:它将不会变的坚硬和强壮)

  　　人不学 ：If you don t learn sex,.

  　　(英翻中:如果你没有学习性行为)

  　　不知义 ：You can by no means enjoy its sweetness.

  　　(英翻中:你将无法体会享受其中的甜美)

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• 英语 法律笑话

  　　A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character. She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined.

  　　一个女人起诉一个男人诽谤。她指控这个男人骂她是头猪。男人被叛有罪并受到处罚。

  　　After the trial he asked the judge, "This means that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?"

  　　审判结束后,他问法官“这么说我可以管一头猪叫约翰逊夫人吗?”

  　　The judge said that was true. "Does this mean I cannot call a pig Mrs. Johnson?" the man asked.

  　　法官说事实是这样的。“那是不是说我可以管一头猪叫约翰逊夫人吗?”那个人问。

  　　The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig Mrs. Johnson with no fear of legal action.

  　　法官回答道他完全可以管一头猪叫约翰逊夫人,无需害怕采取法律行动。

  　　The man looked directly at Mrs. Johnson and said, "Good afternoon, Mrs. Johnson."

  　　男人马上看着约翰逊夫人说:“下午好,约翰逊夫人。”

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• 追贼英语笑话

  　　Witty Hare can run very fast.

  　　机灵的兔子跑得很快。

  　　One day when he gets home. He sees a rat. The rat is jumping down his window.

  　　一天，它回到家的时候看见一只老鼠。这只老鼠正从它家的窗户跳下去。

  　　“Oh. A thief!” Witty Hare shouted and catches the rat, “You can’t run faster then me.”

  　　“啊！贼！”机灵兔子喊着追过去。 “你跑不过我的！”

  　　Soon Witty Hare catches up with the rat, and the rat is left behind.

  　　不一会它追上了老鼠，还把老鼠丢在后面。

  　　“I must run away,” the rat says and laughs, “He is so silly.”

  　　“我得赶紧逃。”老鼠窃笑着说：“这家伙真笨。”

  　　Witty Hare goes on running. A sheep sees him and asks him, “What a re you doing?”

  　　机灵兔子继续跑着。一只绵羊看到了就问它：“你在干什么？”

  　　“I’m catching the thief.” Witty Hare says.

  　　“我在追贼。”机灵兔子说。

  　　“Thief? Where’s the thief?” the sheep fells surprised.

  　　“贼？贼在哪里啊？”绵羊感到奇怪。

  　　“He's behind me,”Witty Hare says proudly.

  　　“它在我后面呢。”机灵兔子自豪地说着。

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• 有关英语日期的笑话

  　　Expiration Date

  　　Before I could start my first job right out of college, I had to present evidence that I was a U.S. citizen, so I brought my birth certificate. The clerk picked up my birth certificate and gave it a good, long look. “Is something wrong?” I finally asked. “Yes,” she said. “I can’t find the expiration date.”

  　　【中文译文】

  　　失效日期

  　　我刚大学毕业找到第一份工作。在正式开始工作以前，我必须提交我是美国公民的证明文件。于是我带去了我的出生证明。那个职员拿起我的出生证明仔仔细细地看。我问：“有什么问题吗？”她说：“是啊，我没找到失效日期。”

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• 英语吃糖的小笑话 甜甜的梦

  　　JOY,it\'s  timeto  go  to  bed.

  　　joy,该去睡觉了。{妈妈}

  　　ok,Mum.i\'m  coming!

  　　哦，这就睡！{joy}

  　　Have  a  sweet  dream,joy.good  night!

  　　做个甜甜的梦哦，晚安！{妈妈}

  　　good  niggt,Mum!

  　　晚安，妈妈！{joy}

  　　Sweet  dream...how?

  　　甜甜的梦。。。。到底怎么才能做个甜甜的梦呢？{joy}

  　　Bingo!

  　　有了!{joy}

  　　joy,wahay  are  you  doing?

  　　the  candy  will  make  your  teeth  ache!

  　　joy,你怎么睡前还吃糖啊！会牙疼的！{妈妈}

  　　（joy,举着糖，看着妈妈。）{joy}

  　　But  you  told  me  to  have  a  sweet  dream...

  　　不是你说要我做个甜甜的美梦的吗。。。{joy}

  　　。。。。。。。。{妈妈}

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• 笑话中英文对照 时间对我们俩来说都是金钱

  　　As the taxi came to a screeching halt at a traffic light, I asked the driver, "Do you agree that 'Time is money'?"

  　　当出租车在遇到红灯急刹车时，我问司机：“你同意‘时间就是金钱’这种说法吗?”

  　　"Well, it's a very common saying. Who will care so much about that?" the driver answered.“

  　　哦，这是一个普遍说法。在这个问题上，谁会在意那么多呢?”司机回答说。

  　　"Look, the digits in the meter are still running when the car has stopped, "I pointed at the meter.“

  　　看，在车已经停止的情况下，里程表上的数字还在跑。”我指着里程表说。

  　　"Oh, yes. You've got a point here. In this case, time is money for both of us." added the driver.“

  　　哦，是的。你说的挺有道理的。在这种情况下，时间对我们俩来说都是金钱。”司机补充说。

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