【原】古诗英译：和张仆射塞下曲·其三(唐 · 卢纶)月黑雁飞高

古诗英译：和张仆射塞下曲·其三(唐 · 卢纶)

月黑雁飞高，单于夜遁逃。

欲将轻骑逐，大雪满弓刀。

An Immediate Pursuit

A moonless sky menaces a darkest night.

Warning wild geese soar in a startled flight.

Preying on this given opportunity, 

our beseiged enemy,

maneuvers an unsuspected retreat.

Summoned at a resolute command,

assemble in no time our cavalrymen,

lightly-armed and ready for a whirlwind hunt.

A sudden heavy snow falls.

In a blink of the eye,it builds up on their bore bows and swords.

”译”后记：

一首“模仿”汉语古诗词“意合”结构抛弃一切“赘词”(介词连词等)表达出来的也具备“意合”形态，“摒弃”其与生俱来的“形合”结构的“英文诗”，我不知道能不能也被“形态”英语接受。

但是，偶尔为之也许不为过，尤其是用于表达这首“军情急”的“短促”诗词时，英汉语都必须在语态上传递这种“十万火急”的语气。

。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

“遣词造句”：

1) “译”诗最初“形态”

A darkest time in a moonless night,

startled wild geese in a startled flight.

It was our beseiged enemy,

stealing such an opportunity,

maneuveuring an unsuspected retreat.

An urgent order took no time to have arrive.

A light cavalery must chase in no time.

In no time and unexpected snow stoid on their carried swords and bows.

这时，只是把原句大概意思表达出来而已，需要在“修辞”角度继续“打磨”。

2) 二稿

A darkest night with a moonless sky,

startled wild geese soared in a flight.

With结构“太语法”了，虽然语法“无比正确”，毫无“诗词”美感，尤其在“惜词如金”的诗词里，“废词”不能出现，更别说“太多”了。

Preying on this given opportunity, 

was our beseiged enemy,

maneuvering an unsuspected retreat.

An urgent order assembled a light cavalry,

for an immediate pursuit

In no time and unexpected snow stood on their carried swords and bows.

3) urgent synonym =resolute

4) pursuit synonym = hunt

5) order synonym = command

6) threaten synonym= menace