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McLean Hospital in Massachusetts 马萨诸塞州的麦克林精神病医院 1928.11.09－1974.10.04 Am I still lost 1954年安妮·塞克斯顿第一次精神崩溃，1955年再次发作，遇到麦克林精神病医院的医生Martin Orne，他觉得塞克斯顿有创造才能，于是鼓励她用诗歌来调整崩溃的精神。Martin Orne从此成为她的终生治疗师。她出版于1960年的首部诗集《去精神病院半途而返》（To Bedlam and PartWay Back）的第一首诗《你，马丁医生》就是以他为原型。 △ 安妮·塞克斯顿朗读《你，马丁医生》 from breakfast to madness. Late August, I speed through the antiseptic tunnel where the moving dead still talk of pushing their bones against the thrust of cure. And I am queen of this summer hotel or the laughing bee on a stalk of death. We stand in broken lines and wait while they unlock the doors and count us at the frozen gates of dinner. The shibboleth is spoken and we move to gravy in our smock of smiles. We chew in rows, our plates scratch and whine like chalk in school. There are no knives for cutting your throat. I make moccasins all morning. At first my hands kept empty, unraveled for the lives they used to work. Now I learn to take them back, each angry finger that demands I mend what another will break tomorrow. Of course, I love you; you lean above the plastic sky, god of our block, prince of all the foxes. The breaking crowns are new that Jack wore. Your third eye moves among us and lights the separate boxes where we sleep or cry. What large children we are here. All over I grow most tall in the best ward. Your business is people, you call at the madhouse, an oracular eye in our nest. Out in the hall the intercom pages you. You twist in the pull of the foxy children who fall like floods of life in frost. And we are magic talking to itself, noisy and alone. I am queen of all my sins forgotten. Am I still lost? Once I was beautiful. Now I am myself, counting this row and that row of moccasins waiting on the silent shelf. |
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